Falling Out Of Love

I recently had a conversation over messanger with a friend.  She’s really been struggling with her routine.


I can identify, I’ve been there. one minute you’re chugging along and everything is perfect. you feel like you could live this clean eating healthy lifestyle forever. then BAM you’re completely derailed, you have to change your routine or worse come up with a whole new game plan. if you’ve ever been injured then you know how hard it is to go from active to sidelined then trying to find your way to active again. 
My advice to her with fake it until you make it. I have had to do this in the past, I have not felt like it, I have not wanted to do it, I have made every excuse. it needs to be part of your routine, it needs to be non-negotiable.  It doesn’t have to be complicated, it doesn’t have to be hard, you just need to find a way to move. start small, when I first started my journey I could barely do 10 minutes on the elliptical. but I did 10 minutes on the elliptical. you need to find something that you can do that is physical even if it’s not for a long period of time.

While you were faking it to make it, explore other options if what you were doing isn’t working anymore try and find something else. there are hundreds if not more workout videos, classes, activities.  Find one that makes you happy, even if you have to find one that doesn’t make you wanna claw your eyeballs out.  It takes time to make something a habit, they say it takes 21 days so find 21 days and do it.

Another way to motivate yourself to just do it, is to remind yourself why you’re doing it. I don’t do this just so I can have a “hot body” I do it for my mental health, for my family so I will be around for a long time to come, and for my own physical health. you might do it for mobility, or many other reasons but explore those find your reasons for being healthy. you need to often remind yourself why you’re on this journey because motivation comes and goes routines get screwed up and it’s not easy but it’s worth it.



2 months post breast reduction

It’s a choice…

So the book says good choices and bad choices are just that a choice, you don’t accidentally eat bad food you make that choice. So I made a bad food choice Saturday night, I was at the after party and even though I packed snacks and here is where I could give you all the excuses but I’m the one that made the choices.
It’s ok life is all about ups and downs, I did hop right back on Sunday morning and have stuck to it since. I will say I woke up with a massive headache Sunday and it wasn’t from drinking because all I had was 1 beer and 1 glass of wine hours apart. Otherwise I feel pretty great!
And I can’t complain about the food it’s delicious.


We tried bison steak and as out there as it sounds it was awesome!
My go to meal is chicken with avocado and salsa..


Breakfast is the hardest meal for me, I don’t like eggs, they actually make me sick so I’ve had the above for breakfast and today I tried kale and bacon (un cured, nitrate free)


It’s really nice to have hubby on board with this on, he cooked scallops and steak tips with sugar snap peas last night…


So lesson learned I can make bad choices, going out is hard and I’m gonna have to work that out.

In other news my ankle is still super weak, I spent a couple of hours on feet Saturday between the bout and after party and was in a lot of pain. I actually have a bruise on the inside of my ankle. I didn’t bump it or anything so that’s making me a little nervous.


I’m calling my pt and see what she thinks and if I should call my Dr

Our own versions of body Dis morphia

This is eating disorder awareness week and Daniel over at www.weightofmyshoulders.com has  been posting this week about her experiences with this.  One of my former members and an all around amazing chic Becky reposted Dani’s blog about being called anorexic she said she doubts anyone would ever say that about her.  Our Facebook conversation got me thinking about in the past when I was  losing weight and almost at goal I was told I was losing too much weight or if I lost more I’d disappear.  And it hurt my feelings, because why couldn’t I be just right???  Also do we ever feel fully content even at my thinnest I didn’t see myself as thin.  I don’t think I ever saw myself as thin.  But I know when those things were said I was hurt.  I knew that I was striving for healthy and that was what mattered.  Her comment about thinking no one would ever call her that got me to thinking about how we see ourselves.  Like I said I never saw myself as thin and now that I am 15 pounds over goal I see myself right back where I was at the beginning.  All those negative thoughts have crept back in, all the Dis morphia.  In reality I am wearing size 10 pants not the size 20 I was wearing when I started this journey.  As much as I am struggling with the mechanical parts of this journey,the measuring a d tracking, I am really struggling with the mental part.  This set back has done a number on the way I see myself.  For so long a big part of my identity was the weight watcher leader, the weight watcher member at goal and now I’m floundering.  Looking for who and what I am now.  All this being said I am doing some things right.  I usually track through lunch falling off after that, generally I’m making good decisions.  And I put the brakes on at 20 pounds, realizing this isn’t right.  Making myself a priority again.  And stop looking at myself and thinking bad things even if that thought creeps in I’m going to use the tool of positive self talk. 

Needed this today


After a week of simply filling and hitting the gym no change at the scale and I was not happy last night … Thank you Lizdom for reminding me it’s not a big deal

I Call Bullshit

Lately I’ve realized I’ve been feeding my mind a lot of crap, so today I call BULLSHIT.

When my head says I can’t … I call bullshit!  I can, because I have done it before.  I lost the weight, I pushed my body to places I didn’t believe it could but it did.


When my head says it’s too hard… I call bullshit!  It’s all friggin hard get over yourself.  Being 265 pounds was hard, training for a half marathon was hard, running that 13.1 miles was hard.  But it was worth it.  And I have been to the gym a almost every day for two weeks and it hasn’t been hard, in fact it’s been great.  I feel amazing more productive everytime I go.


When my head says it’s embarassed… I call bullshit! Nobody but you is noticing your muffin top.  Nobody cares that you put on 20 pounds.  No one but you is judging you!


When my head says I’m not worth it or other things are more important… I call bullshit!  Not only am I so worth it but when I feel good my husband and kids get the best me and they deserve the best me.


When I’m too scared to push myself… I call bullshit!  I can push myself and I have in the past!  I have to thank one of the derby ladies from the Twin City Riot who I was practicing with last night and we were skating in a pack and doing stops and immediately I started panicing, saying I don’t like this, I’m not comfortable.  When one of them said well you have to get used to it.  Basically calling my bullshit, so thank you.

Because today I call bullshit!

So here I am after my workout and during my workout sweat and muffin toped but it’s all good cause who cares


My kids a genius


This was going to be cereal with just strawberries but the 4 year old said put banana in it too… Such a smart kid

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