Support

This was the topic at my meeting on Saturday and I am very lucky, my kids and husband are great supports and I have some fantastic friends that support my weight loss. My daughter gives me high fives every time I loose, we all eat well now and my husband and I are doing this together, we are getting healthy together finding new things to do together.

I have a neigh sayer as a neighbor but I can shrug him off, it’s his wife I feel bad for she is very over weight and she has expressed an interest in losing to me but her husband who is just naturally a healthy weight says things like “you can be fat and healthy you don’t need to loose weight” or “I don’t see why you are trying to lose weight your making your self miserable by not being able to eat what you want.” First off I WAS miserable when I did and his wife IS miserable at her current weight but that is there issue not mine. So I digress. We have one here at work too, we started a biggest loser competition here at work and she says things like “I don’t know why you are entering your already on a program what do you need it for”, or “your not going to win anyway you have been losing for so long other people will lose bigger numbers that you.” I know all this, I am not in it to win, I am in it for just another motivator. I just don’t get some people. In the meeting we talked about those that are negative usually are so because they are afraid you will change or worse your relationship with them with change. My neighbor is also my husbands friend they have known each other most of there life and I do think my neighbor is intimidated by my husband loosing weight. I think he is afraid there relationship will change. He like a lot of guys out there that are over weight was the “funny” guy always, through high school growing up, I hear it in the stories they tell. So when my husband loosing the weight and he isn’t the “fat and funny guy” anymore where does that leave their relationship. I get that, but if you allow yourself to stay unhappy and unhealthy for a relationship to stay the same with someone else where does that leave you?? How in the long run will that effect you? Will you resent the other person, and if you do your relationship is definitely going to change.

what about you guys who do you have as support and how do you handle the non supporters??

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Carla
    May 21, 2010 @ 02:28:55

    My husband and mom are my biggest fans and cheerleaders. I do get weird comments from time to time about my new size or my eating habits! I just think some people are intimidated or jealous. I guess that’s their problem, not mine!

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  2. Jess
    May 25, 2010 @ 23:09:15

    I don’t think of these people as non-supporters because well, they don’t exactly affect me. I affect me. But a lot of times, I think it’s just because they don’t understand. They don’t know where you are mentally. A lot of us heavier folks have a lot of mental issues to fix, but nobody sees the mental, just the physical, and our society has not taught people that physical problems are usually a result of mental issues and roadblocks. So most people who are not supportive just don’t know that.

    A lot of times, I tell people that I am aiming for health, and when they realize that I’m doing it not just to see a number on the scale, they change their way of thinking.

    Maybe I’m just lucky though. I have found a great group of real life friends who read my blog, who support me, and ask me how my progress is going, and all of them are more conscious about my eating than I am, especially when we eat out. They want to learn what I’ve learned and I think it’s sparks some super interesting discussions.

    However, if it’s randoms that I don’t care about, well, I just block them out. As for the neighbor, I think it might be good to explain to him what you are actually trying to do. It’s not the pounds you’re aiming for but the ability and chance to live longer.

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